Monthly Archives: October 2010

Day 66: The end

It took 66 days to get over this breakup.

Well, I think “over” might be too strong a word. I still get sad, bitter and angry from time to time. I often miss him. But the process of getting over him just isn’t as all-consuming as it once was.  I don’t really have anything interesting to say about it anymore.

I’ve reached a stage of acceptance. He did the right thing, breaking it off with me. He didn’t string me along. He did it face-t0-face, and unambiguously. He never cheated or lied. The timing sucked, and it came as a shock… but he did what he felt he needed to do when he felt he needed to do it. His only fault was not being the person I wanted him to be, which isn’t really a fault.

In retrospect, I wish I had handled things with more class and maturity. But you learn…

I might be ready to date again sometime soon, but at the moment there are zero prospects. So it’s just little single ‘ol me… signing off.

I’m still blogging, though.

LOVE life/ love LIFE is where I talk about how my love life is going, post breakup.

Swoonology is where I talk about fashion, food and the other delightful things in life that make me swoon.

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Day 61: Death becomes her

I might have mentioned this before, but I work in the media. That means I’m inherently a dark, morbid person.. and also a bit of a narcissist. I often wonder what people will say about me in my obituary. I often wonder if my loved ones would submit to tearful television interviews, or hide from the cameras, in the event of my sudden and untimely death.

Today I was thinking about cancer. I think it’s because of that crass “I like it” breast cancer awareness meme on Facebook, and some conversations I was having with friends about how stupid it is. Also I’ve been reading Her Fearful Symmetry and it’s pretty dark.

Anyway, I started to wonder whether I would tell him if I were stricken with a terrible deadly illness and only had months to live.

There’s no question he’d want to know. And I have no doubt he’d pull it together and rush to my deathbed, trying helplessly to help. I bet he’d get tearful and morose, and would be at a loss of what to do. I bet he’d be kind of annoying to have around in my final hours.

Part of me wondered whether I’d shut him out and keep my imminent passing from him… as punishment. Then! Surprise! He finds out I’m dead and he’ll never see me again. He’ll be overcome with regret and sorrow for the rest of his life.

I’d like to think I’d put that pettiness aside in those grave circumstances, and show great magnanimity as my life neared its end. We’d have warm, intimate heart-to-hearts as I grew weaker and weaker. I’d leave him, and this world, with a sense of bittersweet closure.

But I’m not sure I’d be that gracious.

Twisted, huh?

(In reality, just so you know, I’m going to live to be the grumpiest and most hilarious centenarian you’ve ever met. I have no doubt that I am long for this world.)

Day 57: Plenty of Fail

I went out for coffee this afternoon with that Meetup hiking group. The nice guy who gave me his dry socks after that rainy hike a few weeks ago totally ignored me… not that it matters.

Anyway, when I got home later I was kind of bored and kind of sad. And sometimes when I’m bored and sad, I browse Plenty Offish… just to see. My profile is still hidden, and I have no intention of changing that, given the atrocious batch out there. 

I mean, seriously. Check out some of these wonderful headlines, which are ostensibly supposed to entice ladies to click:

– Woman (I picture him grunting this like a Neanderthal)

– I’m exciting (if you have to say it, clearly you’re not)

– I SEE YOU (yep)

– IS SHE OUT THERE SOME WHERE!!!!!!!!! (WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?????!!!!!)

–  paitently waiting… (for what, spellcheck?)

– good guy looking for a DRAMA free girl (baggage much?)

– in search of a normal one… (ditto)

– are all girls crazy? (noticing a theme? there are many, many guys who open with a line like this) 

– looking for an honest (an honest what?)

– Exhausted of living life alone! (I’m exhausted of you)

– looking for a casual dating (a casual dating what?)

– want kool goodlooking girl! (In fairness, I think a lot of these guys don’t speak English as their first language, so maybe I’m being unfair. There’s really no excuse otherwise.)

– I like cake!!!!!!!!!!!!  (It was the multiple exclamation marks that really sold me)

– Looking for interesting (looking for noun in sentence)

– hot grils (uh huh)

– OUTGOING GIRL WANTED????????? (WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING??????? ALSO, THIS ISN’T A QUESTION!!!!!!!!!)

Looking for an independent women (looking for someone who knows the difference between singular and plural)

Well that was fucking depressing.